One of the best websites around town is Chuck Norris Facts. As I glanced through these facts about the greatest action star to have ever walked this planet, I noticed the similarities between Norris and Gary Roberts, the kick ass left winger of the Pittsburgh Penguins who is so intense that he doesn't even smile. Ever. Just look at his official pic.
I thought I'd list a bunch of Gary Roberts facts for anyone who gives a damn. (plagiarism from Chuck Norris Facts? maybe...or maybe just cleverly borrowed...)
How does this sound...
- The chief export of Gary Roberts is pain.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Gary Roberts allows to live.
- Gary Roberts is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Gary Roberts invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- When Gary Roberts is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
- If Gary Roberts were a calendar, every month would be named Garytober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
- What's known as UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn't use it's full name, which happens to be "Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Gary-Roberts-Division."
Note: the above Gary Roberts facts are, indeed, true. Should you disagree, be prepared for a good ol' fashioned ass-kicking from Mr. Garytober himself. Booyah.